Celebrity voice mail rants are becoming pretty common.  Alec Baldwin, Christian Bale, Mel Gibson.  But it doesn’t just happen to the famous.  It can happen at work, too.

Most of us have either left an angry message and later regretted it; caught ourselves starting to leave a message, then deleted it and recorded a calmer version; or sent a scathing email.  What’s really bad is when you send the email to the wrong person or when you didn’t mean to hit “Reply All”.  In any case, voice mails and emails ALWAYS have the potential to live much longer than you ever intended or expected and to be shared with people you never intended or expected.

Here are a few simple — even obvious — tips for avoiding damaging your personal reputation.  What’s not always easy is remembering to apply them when you are angry or upset:

1. 1. Never respond in the heat of anger.  Give yourself hours or even days to calm down if you have the luxury. Sometimes you’ll find that the situation isn’t worth being angry about or you’ll receive new information that can change your perspective.
   2. When calm, type or record a draft response and save it.  Look or listen to it later and see if it’s appropriate and has the right tone.
   3. If you are not sure, share it with a trusted colleague.  I have found that what I think may sound firm can sound aggressive or threatening to someone else.
   4. Think about whether a face-to-face conversation would be a better way to resolve the situation.  Emails and voice mails do not offer the personal impact of a real conversation, which can often leave people on better terms because you make eye contact, smile, shake hands, etc.
   5. Always remember the adage, “Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.”